I have enough scar tissue to trace out a road map leading from the hell I came from to the amazing grace that saved this wretched man that I am. And though rescued, there are still nights when the old wounds ache and I must put my feet to the floor and run to the Father's arms. It is in those painful hours that I am most grateful for God's continued forgiveness, and the heart He has given me to continue in repentance.
In the most honest assessment of myself, I am a goofy twenty-eight year old husband and father. I am not the perfect anything; I don't come close to perfection in any aspect of my life. What I have here is a serious work in progress with many parts left unfinished. I often want to be what I am not, and grasp what I can't have.
When I open the Scriptures, I don't see you. I see myself, and myself falling so far short that how dare I puff up with any sort of pride. I've come a long way, but I have so much further to go in rightly reflecting Christ. The progress I have made, that's not my work nor my doing, but the work of the Spirit in me. Where I screw up and fail...yeah that's all me. And I am good at screwing up.
You can find me most days meditating on the Scriptures and clinging to the Gospel. It is not because I think that I am somehow holier than you. On the contrary, I know the wreckage I am apart from Christ. I know the Old Man is always lurking near; and I hate that man.
If you offer me moralistic deism or religion, I will turn away your idols. I've already been down that road, and it almost killed me. I have many rough edges still to be smoothed over by the hand of my Savior. He's working on me. Maybe not in the way you'd like, but His work is far better than yours.
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